Dating apps, take one

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the bar is currently so low that there’s an open field for cultivating more meaningful interactions via matchmaking.

This part really stuck out to me. It feels really hopeful and optimistic. Like as bad as the current situation is, it feels like a good thing? Like it’s only bad because there’s so much more that can be done, it can be so much better, and that’s nice to think about.

I also really love this idea of voice as the medium to introduce yourself! It may have its own problems, but I like what it encourages (slowing down, less appearance-based bias).

I wonder if a real life speed dating/mixer event type of thing would work much better on some of these axes.

I wanted to add that I’ve had a very different experience of Tinder being now in a small town & polyamorous. A lot of people tend to know each other so there’s an incentive to be more kind since you’re not as anonymous as in a big city. And I think there’s a big self selection bias in people who are poly & are good at communicating & asking for what they want. And because they are a minority you usually want to match with other poly folk even if just to say hi & ask about their experience and maybe just be friends (so it actually also makes it a not so bad way of making friends!)

To go back to my “speed dating/mixer’s suggestion”, that has been a really great way for me to make friends in this new town - there’s a recurring event for people who are new, and it’s fun to go to these events and kind of act as a bit of a “match maker”, like, “Oh, you just moved here and you work in neuroscience? Come meet X, they also do stuff like that!”

It’s like matching means something more than it might in a large city, because there is some real shared context with the other person.

This sounds amazing. I’m wondering if it’s necessary to have the intimacy of a small town in order for people to trust each other in this kind of situation; seems like this could only happen in a metropolis if there was something other than location bonding people together.

All this makes me think this is another case for having a ‘third place’ where people from different contexts can meet on a regular basis—if it’s not a church, then some other broadly-scoped community that can you can find in each neighbourhood where the shared values bring people together, with continuity over time.

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